I'm not a superstitious person, never have been. In the theatre community one does not talk about jobs you have merely applied for or auditioned for until either you have strong confirmation or a signed contract. I break that mold in that I tell my closest friends and family everything because, frankly, good thoughts, encouragement and prayers are what keep me moving forward when I have days where life gets in the way of my dreams. The other day a dear friend of mine sent me a message asking me how I stay strong and focused when life gets in the way and makes you falter and in turn doubt yourself, your dreams and absolutely hate everyone around you who is happy. The truth is, there is no instruction book. There is nothing and no one telling me how to get through it and, God love her, my mother sees the good job I have and thinks I'm insane for even thinking about going into the film industry. I cant fault her for that. She loves me and wants security for me, but I drown when I'm in this environment, so I dream of loving my job so much that it's not work. But back to my dear friend.
Like so many times in just the passed few months since this bit of inception entered my noggin', my darling was having a day where life, for lack of a better word, sucked. She hadn't gotten where she thought she should have been at this age and it was bogging her down, depressing her and making her hate everyone. I have so been there. What I told her I will now tell you. Life, and by life I mean every day life such as the job you have to work to live and the place you have to be in because you can't afford to be anywhere else. Life is a stepping stone. Life is the thing that gets in the way and makes you realize you're still not there. But we are all where we are for a reason. I couldn't have imagined the last few years without my dear friend and even if that was a small thing, sometimes the small things are what matter the most. If I was already off in NYC or LA and working right now I wouldn't have been here for so much that has happened this year.
This brings me to the point of this post. I was wandering around on Craigslist the other day looking at the jobs section to see if just maybe I might find a MUA looking for an assist. In my city things are slim pickings. Nothing films here, so I came up short. On a whim I went back and decided to look under the gig's section. There is a whole new world under that link called 'crew'. It wasn't overly populated with film makers looking for crew, especially inexperienced crew, but I did happen across a listing that interested me. I emailed the producer/director/writer and pitched myself to them. Color me happy, this girl's got her first gig! I have read the script, it'll be a short film and as it's a senior thesis film that is all I'll say, but *insert happy dance* I haz a gig!
This feeling I'm getting researching these characters and plotting their costumes and makeup looks is amazing. I certainly hope every new project continues to feel this way. I hope one day I get to do this every day and wake up at ungodly hours like 3am for a crew call and that I have to wash a MUA's brushes for two years sometime soon. I'm eager and I've gotten my first taste. I was recently reading an interview with someone who inspires me and she said something along the lines of: "know what your dreams are and be sure of it before you try to make them come true." I have started and stopped so many things that I can without a doubt tell everyone that this dream is sticking. I wake up every day and can't wait to do my makeup. I can't wait for my lunch break or the end of the day so I can come home and read more about makeup and skin care. I ordered a few books about a month ago and have been devouring them. I feel like I will never learn it all and I like that. I like knowing I can learn something new every day. Somewhere in this giant makeup love fest I promise you I do other things like ride my horses, go to dance class, make some jewelry and even read books not devoted to makeup. I'm not nuts I just have a passion. A passion that I can only pray will one day be my job.
Next post I'll review some of the books I've been reading and let you know what I've learned from them. Trust me, I've learned tons!
