This whole makeup artist things hasn't left my mind since I woke up that day and decided this was what I wanted to do. I've done research on schools and you know what I found? Road block #1: no way to get funding. The cheapest of these schools is $18,000. Yea. Doesn't seem like a lot in the grand scheme, but if you already have a degree the good ol' gov't gives you a 'one and done' policy. That means no federal funding. Which means private loans. Which means, uh no. I did find an online school that is fairly new and by fairly I mean they haven't even had their first certificate testing yet because they don't have all of their lectures taped yet. It looks like a viable option, however will wind up costing me the same as 4 months at MUD or a year at EI.
I moped about not being able to afford school for about a week before sitting down with my boss (Miss Awesomesauce) telling her where my head is and seeing about a private loan. It is certainly doable ... after another year at The S&L and even then I'd need another $8,000. Still doable if I try. Thankfully my mind works crap out and I'm not all emo all the time. I've made up my mind that the best thing to do is try. So, the plan is to read everything I can get my hands on. I've ordered two books from Amazon that will give me the basics of what I really need to start attempting some photography shoots. My dear friends and I are taking a small trip to DC at the end of the month and have a day with nothing planned. What do you get when you have two people who love photography, an aspiring makeup designer and a day with nothing to do? Photo shoot! My darling A has agreed to do this with me and I love her dearly for giving me a project that will put my mind off of road block #2: lack of skillz.
I took two semesters worth of theatre makeup in college and did a makeup design for a show, but theatre makeup is SO drastically different than film/tv makeup. Film makeup is more subtle and a hell of a lot more precise. Just from looking at that online school and reading the packets from the other schools I hopelessly asked for info from I've learned so much. Who the hell uses primers on a daily basis? Not this girl. However, how do you think they get makeup to stay on actors so flawlessly for 17 hour shoots with minor touch ups? Primer. Or so I think as of right now. Shoot me if I'm wrong, y'all, I'm still learning! I know there is a whole thing about 'preparing the skin' and, believe me, I can't wait to read it. Feed this empty shell with your knowledge, oh makeup world! Turn me into a knowledgeable artist so I don't look/sound like a schmuck when I finally work with someone who isn't a good friend of mine. I know about brushes and light and shadow, but what primer should I use? What foundation? Which brand is best for eyeshadow, blush, lip color, eye liner? Water proof or no? These facts I need before I can even THINK about talking to some broke film/photography student who needs a makeup artist cheap (FREE: Will Work For Prints). At least I'm not an idiot and I know I need to do some reading and experimenting before I can just be all "Who me? Pfft, yea I'm a makeup artist. Want me to design the makeup for your student fi;m for a copy of it?" This lovely road block is the big kahuna right now. I just want to learn and feel like I have no way to. I can't leave my job for multiple reasons right now (I like to be fed and buy clothes, sue me). Much as I'd love to be reckless and just quit, fly out to LA and find a way to do what I want, real life isn't Burlesque and we don't all get lucky. I am fully prepared to work hard to get where I want to. My living inspiration never got any favors and she has made it. So can I.
Shamless plug for the Polish Bro's: watch For Lovers Only.
Yea, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. I did not watch this film solely because of who is acting in it. With For Lovers Only being an independent film shot in France in the French New Wave style and about two people who reconnect after years of being apart I had a feeling I'd regret watching it and so read everything I could about it first. In all honesty I wanted to keep the inspiring picture I have of Stana in my head and was worried this film would change it all. I couldn't have been more wrong. If you're worried about nudity, don't. I'm a huge prude and I got through it. I'm not saying anyone can watch it, its definitely mature, but compared to some things on tv or in popular films these days it is tasteful. It's not sex for sex's sake, there is a point. I found myself holding my breath, laughing out loud, commenting aloud about how beautiful a line of dialogue was to an empty room ("I mean what are you looking at?" "I don't know, you know ... find the focus, find the frame ... and you get a feeling.") and tearing up early on. The raw emotion, the gorgeous cinematography, done completely with a DSLR no less, and the absolute dedication of the two actors made this film what it is. I could gush for hours and yet somehow I can find no words to truely describe why you should watch this film. The wannabe makeup artist wants to gush about how beautiful a job Sara Vaughn did, but the sheer fact that I didn't think about it till now says something about this film. I will own it. How often I watch it doesn't matter. All I will need is to see the cover and feel what I felt watching it for the first time. I haven't been in love, but I know that we all deserve to be loved to way Yves loves Sofia. ("No one will ever love me like you do."). My heart broke and yet was put back together. I don't think I've ever watch a film where I needed some time in silence afterward to just think about it. It was in my mind all day today like a ghost whispering in my ear. Watch it. I don't care how you feel about it afterward, just watch it.
Now that I've gotten that out of my system, here's the deal. These road blocks exist, but I'm prepared to look at them as hurtles now. This will not be another of my '5 minute adventures' or turn into something I tell my children about over dinner as something I "did once". I'm determined with this one. I think Whoopie said it best in Sister Act 2: "I went to my mother who gave me this book called 'Letters To A Young Poet' by Rainer Maria Rilke. He's a fabulous writer. A fellow used to write to him and say "I want to be a writer, please read my stuff." And Rilke says to this guy: "Don't ask me about being a writer. If, when you wake up in the morning, you can think of nothing but writing; you're a writer." I'm gonna say the same thing to you. If you wake up in the morning and you can't think of anything but singing first, then you're supposed to be a singer, girl." Yep.
